I'm quitting, mes amis. Shoot me an email if you would like to receive updates on any future projects: brooklynseahag@gmail.com
Love eternally,
The Brooklyn Sea Hag
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So Profesh
WOW! I am a real website now!!
My new URL: www.brooklynseahag.com
It was lovingly gifted to me by my pal Tobly who actually knows how to use the internet and sometimes teaches me things. She's my technology guru.
ps. was anyone else annoyed that Ugly Betty on the fictional television program Ugly Betty won a bloggie 5 minutes after setting hers up? Fuck you, Suarez.
My new URL: www.brooklynseahag.com
It was lovingly gifted to me by my pal Tobly who actually knows how to use the internet and sometimes teaches me things. She's my technology guru.
ps. was anyone else annoyed that Ugly Betty on the fictional television program Ugly Betty won a bloggie 5 minutes after setting hers up? Fuck you, Suarez.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Boobs Radley
My friend, the professional blogger, gave me the best gift bag ever. See below!
Contents:
Absolute Acai Berry Vodka
Cystex
Vitamins
MAC lipstick (to add to my huge collection of never used makeup)
3 bottles of lavender scented lube (my vag will help me fall asleep)
Handwipe
Love and thoughtfulness
Thank you, BOOBS! Have fun in Mexico- don't fuck too many bandits.
Contents:
Absolute Acai Berry Vodka
Cystex
Vitamins
MAC lipstick (to add to my huge collection of never used makeup)
3 bottles of lavender scented lube (my vag will help me fall asleep)
Handwipe
Love and thoughtfulness
Thank you, BOOBS! Have fun in Mexico- don't fuck too many bandits.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
You Get What You Pay For?
$10 trash can from Target:
Why am I so amused by this? I think my brain drugs make me way less rageful than I used to be.
Why am I so amused by this? I think my brain drugs make me way less rageful than I used to be.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
If I Could Just Leave my Body for the Night
Last night I went to see Paul Taylor (aka ballet lite, aka dudes in spandex lederhosen hopping around to Age of Aquarius, aka the dance company my grandparents mistakenly assume is my favorite, much like when I was little and my grandmother bought me a blueberry muffin at the Bayshore ferry dock every weekend on our way to Fire Island, and even though I was apathetic at best about blueberry muffins, I pretended they were my favorite because I was way too afraid of her to protest).
My night, it wasn't great. It was emotionally overloaded from the start - relationships with certain members of my family (2 of 3 are gma and papa) have been strained and damaged since Thanksgiving - so I probably was reading into everything a too closely. Grandma can be awfully harsh sometimes (see: calling me a "disgusting monster" for "ruining Thanksgiving") even under the best of circumstances, so who knows what the problem was. Maybe she was just in a bad mood? Maybe my cold (my sniffling/pallid complexion) irritated her. Maybe it was my refusal to admit that there are any potential romantic interests in my office. Maybe it was fraught for her too.
Whatever the reason, I started crying in the middle of the bad dancing, and tears, my friends, are the worst offense of all. Fortunately I had my cold as an excuse for puffy eyes and a runny nose at intermission.
My night, it wasn't great. It was emotionally overloaded from the start - relationships with certain members of my family (2 of 3 are gma and papa) have been strained and damaged since Thanksgiving - so I probably was reading into everything a too closely. Grandma can be awfully harsh sometimes (see: calling me a "disgusting monster" for "ruining Thanksgiving") even under the best of circumstances, so who knows what the problem was. Maybe she was just in a bad mood? Maybe my cold (my sniffling/pallid complexion) irritated her. Maybe it was my refusal to admit that there are any potential romantic interests in my office. Maybe it was fraught for her too.
Whatever the reason, I started crying in the middle of the bad dancing, and tears, my friends, are the worst offense of all. Fortunately I had my cold as an excuse for puffy eyes and a runny nose at intermission.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Hamster Dance
I'm off on another National Lampoon's European Vacation at the end of the month! My pal Emma is coming to meet me in Amsterdam (dooooooood) and we're going to ride bikes and look at tulips and make asses of ourselves trying to "speak" Dutch. Her boyfriend (and my friend!) Paul is coming out just for the weekend to eat mushrooms. I mean to see me. He's coming to see me.
If anyone has any hotel/restaurant/bar/museum recommendations, we'd love them. Searching for lodging on the internets is dubious.
Dank u! Goede nacht. (Waar is kaaswinkel??)
If anyone has any hotel/restaurant/bar/museum recommendations, we'd love them. Searching for lodging on the internets is dubious.
Dank u! Goede nacht. (Waar is kaaswinkel??)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Best Restaurant in Crazytown
Dinner last night: bowl of kale, peppers and mushrooms with cashews on top, bowl of arugula and peppers and avocado with lemon and olive oil. About halfway through I just dumped the little bowl into the big bowl and mixed it all together.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Famiry Rink Rove
Check out my auntie's new collaboration: Irritable Blog Syndrome. Linked on the right.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Les Dimanche à Bamako
I love my apartment. Have I mentioned that I love my apartment? Well I do. I love it. That said, there are a few drawbacks: shitty shower (not literally-- no feces (yet?) -- just abrupt switches between icy and scalding), roach problem (like when they crawl on the windowsill next to my kitchen table while I am eating dinner; FUCK, THAT WAS HORRIBLE), the vague threat of homeless marauding rapists breaking in, etc.
Maybe one of the worst problems lately is the radiator. Coming from an apartment that had almost no heat during the winter, at first I was pleased that my apartment hovers around 85 degrees most nights. It's getting a little old, truthfully, so I've started sleeping with the window wide open (welcome, homeless marauding rapists!) and sometimes getting up at 4am to wet a washcloth for my forehead like a swooning damsel.
The other issue with the radiator is the afrobeats it pumps out at regular intervals throughout the night for 10 minute stretches at a time.
Keep in mind that I took this video AFTER waking up, lying in bed cursing God, trying to fall back asleep, resigning myself to insomnia, getting up, finding my camera in the dark, figuring out how to "film" and then "filming." So yeah, 10 minutes is not an exaggeration.
Maybe one of the worst problems lately is the radiator. Coming from an apartment that had almost no heat during the winter, at first I was pleased that my apartment hovers around 85 degrees most nights. It's getting a little old, truthfully, so I've started sleeping with the window wide open (welcome, homeless marauding rapists!) and sometimes getting up at 4am to wet a washcloth for my forehead like a swooning damsel.
The other issue with the radiator is the afrobeats it pumps out at regular intervals throughout the night for 10 minute stretches at a time.
Keep in mind that I took this video AFTER waking up, lying in bed cursing God, trying to fall back asleep, resigning myself to insomnia, getting up, finding my camera in the dark, figuring out how to "film" and then "filming." So yeah, 10 minutes is not an exaggeration.
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